It’s Valentines’ day morning and the fitness enthusiast scrambles to make it look like the gift of love has been under consideration for months. If you are scrambling, here are some well-considered tips to keep you out of hot water this year:
“Yes, the new crankset I bought you was expensive, but when compared to the cost of roses this time of year, and when amortized between now and next Valentine’s day, it’s a total bargain.”
“No, but I do have some high-viscosity chain lube that should work for that.”
“Thanks for the cassette cufflinks!” (Really, check out www.cufflinks.com)
If these fail, try this during the next fitness outing with your beloved:
“Honey, I love to (select best match from list) cycle, ski, etc. with you.”
This phrase, however, should only be uttered as a last resort and in circumstances that you can back up with action since it may be context-dependent. You could be held to account if:
The cycling buddies show up to the big ride urging you to join them in an attempt at a sub X-hour century. Ignoring the spouse’s sideways glances during the discussion only makes matters worse.
The forecast for clear skies turns into an epic powder day. While it’s true there are no friends on powder days, the friendship component of the spousal relationship does not apply in this case.
If all of the above fail, then you have no choice but to beg for mercy with roses in hand after all:
“Honey I swear I left you a voice mail about where I’ve been this week”:
If you weren’t joined by your spouse on a trip like this, only return if you have roses in hand.
