Beijing Olympics 2008: Report from the Peanut Gallery

1. The secret to Michael Phelps’ speed? The perfect swimmer’s body? Nope. Superhuman cardiovascular ability? Nope. The secret: Check out those eyeteeth.

2. Elvis is alive and well and living in Moscow. Need proof? Check out the Russian warm up suits. Either that or the Russians have a thing for Vegas.

3. CBC’s color commentator for women’s gymnastics sounds like Mister Rogers giving a pep talk while on Quaaludes.

4. We didn’t miss Al Trautwig on Versus covering this year’s Tour de France, but his sportscasting career seems to be alive and well covering gymnastics. Hopefully he doesn’t irritate gymnastics fans as much as he did cycling fans.

5. World-class athletes deserve world-class uniforms. Why do all of the women’s gymnastics outfits look like they were issued for a middle school PE class?

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