Whether or not we consciously acknowledge it, we all have fantasies about how we are going to die. A wise person periodically takes a serious, sober, comprehensive look at death.
A warrior considers himself already dead, so there is nothing to lose. The worst has already happened to him, therefore he’s clear and calm; judging him by his acts or by his words, one would never suspect that he has witnessed everything.
—Carlos Castañeda, Tales of Power
We emerge from adolescence with a false sense of invincibility, which may persist well into old age. When we believe ourselves to be immortal, our reflections on death tend to be superficial, like the self-obituary you had to write in high school English class. At some point, however, you may be fortunate enough to truly realize that you are mortal. After that realization, every action has consequence.
Let us examine some death fantasies that might apply to the habitually fit recreational athlete. These can be split into three main subcategories:
Scenario One:
By virtue of taking care of our bodies, we can imagine a death at home, in bed, surrounded by friends and family, and a swift, uneventful, painless departure from life. In this death fantasy, it’s a sunny day, and new age music plays in the background while a close friend anoints the departing flesh with scented oils. We believe this experience would feel like falling asleep.
Another version of this fantasy is a death process that is prolonged and miserable. Even if we spend our lives taking care of our bodies, we will not necessarily be spared from the kinds of systemic malfunctions that are an inherent part of the aging process. Genetic or environmental factors may come into play the longer we live. Despite our best efforts to avoid the inevitable, we lose independence and may need to rely on a support system of family, hospice, and health care professionals. In this variation we suffer maladies including incontinence, limited mobility, or mental decline. Every moment could feel utterly miserable, and death would be a relief.
Scenario Two:
By virtue of our athletic passions, we can imagine going out in a traumatic flash, the result of a momentary lack of attentiveness or bad luck, but engaged in something we love at the moment of impact. Since velocity is most likely involved, bones would break, blood would be spilled, and there could be a disgusting display of ripped flesh and internal organs spread across the accident scene.
Outside third parties might view the victims of this kind of death with a bit of schadenfreude: “Well, David took risks, so it’s no wonder that he died this way.” Spoken in a tone that makes it sound like death is unavoidable.
Through our athletic endeavors we pursue thrills with at least a subconscious notion that the risk of death is a possibility. Imagine suffering a fatal impact in a bike crash, or suffocating under avalanche debris.
Scenario Three:
Death can occur at any time, without warning. Despite living carefully (is that possible for anyone?), death by random catastrophe is possible at any moment. In this scenario, the possibilities are limitless and have nothing necessarily to do with the healthy lifestyles we lead. Death could be the result of an unexplainable systemic biochemical failure, or an accident.
May you live with the wisdom of knowing you are mortal as well as the wisdom to have plenty of fun along the way.
